Back to reality !!

Writing after long time, just outta touch.  Not that stuffs don't keep happening around, world is full of stuffs to write about ... may be a bit lazy. Hope to be a bit more frequent now.


India, when western world talks about it, they have this in mind that it is filled with poor and hungry people, also people with turban on head making snakes jumping out of basket. Duh even the oscar one, Slumdog Millionaire showed similar India. Come on, India has more than that.

 But yes when you are driving down the city roads and get stuck at a signal,then you realise yes its quite true. Beggars and eunuchs ready to charge on the cars with their tactics. Honestly few do need help, but most can do some type of work only if they want to, but why work hard when you are getting more by begging. At times if you tell them you can't give them as you don't have change, they would ask how much do you want? Rs500 or Rs1,000. Though this statement isn't valid at this moment as Rs1,000 have been banned, ahh guess having a long makeover. 

So coming back to the topic, recently some stuffs happened in life which made me deal with beggars, like need to feed them and blah blah. In my city you will find lots of beggars, but I never knew this side of story. I always thought them to be awww poor guys but I was proved wrong. Recently mom asked me to get few beggars as she wanted to give lunch at home. I was instructed to get 11 blokes. Nearby there is a place where loads of poor people sit and beg. I knew the place and I thought it is a piece of cake. There I went thinking just eleven, Damn how would I choose amongst so many? But this thought didn't remain the exact same when I reached there. 

As I reached there I saw loads of people sitting, males, females and also kids. They all looked at me as if I am some spy or agent, where I was thinking I might be the Santa for them, yeah but slimmer version. Amongst them, a mid aged guy came up, who looked perfectly fine, just clothes were bit messy but yeah thats in style ,isn't it ? I did tell him that I need eleven of you as want to serve you lunch at my place. What do you expect in reply? When, at what time? or Can it be increased a bit more? or may be a bit bright happy face, not a grin or something? Wrong , it was Whats in the menu? I was like whaaaaat? These guys needs to know menus before they go ? I guess he understood from my expression, he clarified that they won't go if its Biryani, as they keep getting here. So if something else is there, they will come. Thank God we had proper homemade lunch, I told him no its regular food, simple and plain. Then they were like okay you tell me the place, we would be there in half an hour, I did give him the details and came back. 

Later I came to know from one of my cousins about more of such stuffs, like there are people who wants to feed the poor, so they give simple stuffs like veggies and rice, but these fellas also wants non veg along. Wow. There are people who are not able to prepare food for so many people at home, which is very logical and they prefer taking them to local small food stall or hotel and allow them to have whatever they wish. Sounds nice and simple? what possibly can go wrong? You have choices, No biryani.. also you have non veg too. Perfect right??? Wrong again folks, its the damn hotel, they will only have from hotels which they like, obviously not fancy hotel, local but it has to be their choice. They don't like food from all the hotels. Yeah I knew some drama about them like they won't accept one or two rupee coins, may be 5 bucks or 10. We spent schools days with that amount on money.Now I feel I am more down to earth than them ! ;)

PAGLA NA KA

Well been a long time since i wrote a blog ! too much crappy stuffs ! anyway m back for good now !! Happy days are over now, its work time these days!! N India doesnt practice the best labour law !! Trust me its pathetic, they make u work from morning to late night !! We do have fixed entry time but the exit one is missing !! At times we feel home is hotel,we just go eat n sleep n come back again in morning!! I have joined this bank,all work places r crap.. no matter where u are. So my work comprises of interacting with clients and people coming in to deposit/withdraw money. So there is a colleague of mine who keeps on saying a particular phase.. no matter wat u say... his reply will include that. Me: Chal bhai aaj cold drink pila? Guy: PAGLA NA KA ? Paisa nahi hai !! Me: Kar meeting hai morning ko,jaldi aayega na ? Guy: PAGLA NA KA ? I cant come so early. Me: Client had called, reach by 4.30. Guy: PAGLA NA KA ? itna barish mein nahi jaunga!! He is so used to this phase that he doesnt even know where he is speaking. Once a client came in and asked regarding savings account.. just for ur knowledge purpose...our basic one starts from 10k. So the client asks the features, benefits etc, he convinces the client to open one account. The client says I will pay 10K and open two accounts!! He replies "PAGLA NA KA ? HUMLOG KA YAHAN DUS SE EK HI HOGA,PAGLA NA KA ?"!! The guy was shocked as he cudnt believe what he was hearing!! We laughed our ass out!! From that day onwards we offically call him PAGLA NA KA !! we do make more samples at our office!! we have different scheme codes for different accounts. Current accounts start wid CA and savings wid SB !! Like 10k account has a different code, the one wid 25k has a differnt one as their features r different !!every form we send goes with the respective scheme codes!! SO this guy(SAMIRAN) includes the all the features in the basic one, like higher ATM card withdrawl limit,low loan rates which in reality isnt!! we decided as the account which he pitches for doesnt really exist , the Scheme code wud be SB(SAVINGS BANK)Samiran... SBSAMIRON !! There is another guy who keeps on sleeping !! At times guys comes from training dept n briefs us abt new product !! SO this guy is sitting right infrnt and fall asleep !!Another day he was accompanying another guy at a client's home, n he literally was abt to fall off the chair dozing !! Then there is this guy who once got locked up by the client at the house as the client didnt get the card and chequebook on time! we had to go and help him to get out !! TO which reminds me I the place where my branch lies, is one f da most amazing n beautiful places in Calcutta with the most wonderful crowd ! (FEEL THE PUN) Initially when i was posted there, firing took place and a police officer got shot!! another firing took place few months back!! Few week back ppl found RDX in the area!! U THINK I HATE THE AREA ?? PAGLA NA KA !!

Project Roar !!

After 22years of fun, I finally got to taste the reason why we waste our years with studies…for a job that is. From college I got a internship for 2 months,it’s a part of the curriculum, and it contains 200marks. So colg ppl gave me an org name IMRB and told me if I change the company, they wont help me in final placements….douche! IMRB is a marketing research company, companies uses its service when they plan to launch a new product or understand demand,etc etc..! Am with 9 other guyz from my colg,good m not alone..why should I face the heat alone ? My internship startd from 10th this month, all f us planned to meet at a place and then go together. I reached 45mins early,thnx 2 my sis. With next 15mins most f em came, xcpt f one… he made us wait till 10(10 was our reportin tym), we didn’t want to be late… gives a bad impression!! So we headed towards the office,told him to come and give a call,we’ll help with the directions. As I entered the office, the staff I saw, gave a impression that it’s a government org. All old n lazy ! most f em were aunties,ones who come to fill ur details durin census. Anyway they made us wait for a while before we met the head. The guy gave a small intro abt the company and left us. He said go and enjoy,watch a movie. I felt like saying ‘Sir, pay for our tickets! ‘ . Anyway we didn’t go for a flick,rather headed back to home. Next day we got the project,it was takin details from companies about their online presence.. like havin its own website/email address/blogs,etc. Man, this is wat we do ? no skills ? My target was to get 10 companies,lucky I got, bt later the guy added few more to my list !
My second project I got made us wait for a week,anyway on Monday the guy called and asked to come down to office with an id proof and two copies of photos. I was on my way for a flick wid me pal, but I had to turn back home .Thought we will get the new project,but the guy just took the photos and left us,was so pissed, I cancelled my plan for a flick just because of this ? the guy told us to come at 9 the next day. We went at 9,the guy made us wait till 11, then gave a briefin abt the project. It was like go to the airport and ask the passenger are they aware of certain ad,related to wildlife and illegal trade of it,crappy work. Our next schedule to come to office was next day at 3pm.Was like okay next day I’ll go for a early morning flick, but my crappy luck, the guy called up at night and asked us to come at 11.30. there goes my flick plan again. We reached at 11.30,the guy made us wait till 12.30 ,gave us a questionnaires and allotted us the number of samples for each of us and asked us to reach airport by 3,and it was 1.30 that time. We all were pissed. We cannot work without food, so we hunted for a small eatery thingy,didn’t wanna go 2 arsalan and other places and have rolls. After searchin we found a small roadside stall where they were selling roti and veggies,we had dat and boarded a shuttle for airport. We reached there at 3.20,lil late, but couldn see office guy anywhere. We called him up, he was like wait for a while, we are coming.atlast around 4 we saw him coming.he got off and went to talk to airport officials. He came out, and again went back. We were like fuck no, we don’t want this job,it sucks, passengers wouldn’t entertain us, after landin they will b eager to go back home rather answerin to my questions. Anyway around 5 the guy came out and said, u ppl need to go 2 ur local police station and get some certificate which states that u don have any criminal records and all. The other guy said consider it to 2 b scrapped. Actually since past 1 n half years they are tryin to do this project but aint getting proper permission from airport. After we heard that project wont take place, atleast for now we were all dancing behind sir’s back !!! Thank You God for this, saved me from a big shit ! Guess Project Roar needs to gets it throat cleared first!!

Aai Pee Yelll

Yeah IPL is back in town !! It’s a rip off of football leagues, instead of fotties ,it deals with cricket.Even they have cricket leagues outside India,but it’s a more attractive and smarter form. Indians are crazy abt such stuffs !Like most of the ppl of Calcutta even I decided to watch the match at the stadium. But the catch was I will watch it only if I get complimentary tickets ! I aint spendin cash to watch a cricket match! On Friday I got couple f tickets ,thanx to my cousin. Kolkata Vs Banglr. Dragged a pal along, I had asked asshole to be ready and come down to the bus stop by 3.15, that guy came after at 3.35pm and da match was stated to start from 4. Anyway boarded a crammed up bus,and bus rides in Cal be a diff experience. U get to hear all kinds of swears ,ppl screamin at fellow passengers,screamin at da driver,screamin on top of their voice n talkin on phone! Bloody frustrated assys !!
Anyway was lucky that I reached within 15mins.Now came the checkin,lord o lord… they pressed all my pockets, n I was like hope they don squeeze my balls !! may b I m hidin chocolate bombs ova there,which they didn!! Thank god ! The stadium was almost filled ,ppl geared up with their cheers and ..comments! They hav upgraded the stadium a lot! Better washroom,proper food counter and yeah proper places to sit ,not a stone slab or somethn ! I went there after like a decade or so. I went up to my seat and saw a guy sittin, we said the seat has been allotted to us, so please sit somewhere else. The guy was no the police has asked me to sit here,he told me to sit here I wont move. I was fuck u, me aint wasting tym blabbering to motherfucker n decided to sit just behind my actual seats . Soon a four was hit and da crowd started screamin ! just beside our row, there were a large group f young guys n gals, they were tryin to do the Mexican wave, thet were like “ 10…9..8…7…6…5…4..3…2.1.. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHH”… sadly it didn work ! after tryin atlast the wave did happen…. And after its 3rd lap and it died !! sad !! now comes the cheerleaders…WOW ! specially hats off to Vijay Maal-liya, amazing ones he had hired. Where in Cal do u get to see hot white chicks( excluding new market/Park street). Suddenly saw ppl crowdin infrnt of da entrance, I saw that a shahrukh look a like was in the field,tryn to boost da crowd. And ppl flocked to see that and limits was that they were clickin snaps with him.. I mean fuck ! food out there apart from water is damn expensive! Just had wafers and soft drinks….!! After the innings of Kolkata, came the hurricane, from banglr,chris gayle… he just whooped the asses of the bowlers.. amazing one !!
People were like “Saala,Kolkatar keye kolkata ke marchis ? “ sadly the home team lost, but it was a good entertainer !! Issue occurred while coming back home… we couldn’t find one decent mode of transport!! Few buses plyin(most of the bus routes were deviated ).we missed da last train by few minutes. And cabs didn wanna go. So we decided to walk. It was a real long walk,tried to hitchhike but cal ppl aint used to that ! no one stopped.. even the police patrol car didn stop n offer any help!! After we had covered around 70% of the distance and were closer to our area, me pal called up another pal n asked him to come with his bike and drop us home. After a good long wait of 15mins,the guy came.. ahhh was like a blessing ! Thought my legs wud kill me but surprisingly it didn pain a bit ! May b next tym I’l walk a marathon….not !!

Bdayz !!

I donno y ppl get excited abt birthdays. The person is gettin older,its sad... he would b burned by the society wid tons of stuffs like u need to earn,u need to act more matured,u need to take all family responsibility like doin household shoppin… damn n if it’s a girl then the family wud start lookin for perspective groom.they start the “Search for the perfect Groom” as soon as the girl turns 18. They say by the girl completes her studies,that is college, we’ll find a nice n decent one. It takes 3-4 years 2 search 4 a guy ? there are 1000 males per 938 females.!! and by the tym the family decides on one groom after 3 years,the girl is in love wid sum college mate ! lets not get distractd frm my topic… that is my birthday.
Well birthdays aint that bad either, u get gifts, ppl treat u better,just 4 a day that is!! But don’t expect that in our school. Once they come 2 know its ur birthday,they’ll say “Aaj tera Happy birthday hai na”, no today is my sad birthday, Happy one comes next month wen I see the results, they give u bday bumps(man those hurts),take a forced treat, and may b make fun of u. I never faced it coz durin mine one every1 is busy wid their exams ! Luckyy Me!!
As a kid, we used to be in a party surround by tons of cousin n cries of younger cousinz.Those games and “Humpty-dumpty”.those cheeks pullin my relatives..ahhh nightmares!!Good that we are grown ups, we prefer spendin tym wid pals. But I try 2 keep the day for pals n the night part for family, orelse they’ll b like yeah now y think abt u, enjoy wid ur friends at pubs n clubs n “Ministry of sound”. Too bad this year most f me pals were busy with somethn or the other, so there wasn’t any treat or somethn. But yeah went 4 ‘Doodhcola’ wid one f me pals in evenin. Man had it after such a long tym. Entire day was at CCD mushyin arnd wid my girl. Its nice to be with her. Love her presence arnd me.I bet she is readin this, so herez me sayin “Love Ya Loads”. Anyway went 2 college aftr dat n I had no idea wat was there waitin 4 me. College pals got a cake for me just to take the cream n apply it on my face.Ahh man they screwed my face..err.. it is screwed frm before !! You cant expect all Indians to have amazing skin n face! India is filled wid Browns n blacks. Yeah there are wiggaz too …example Reetika!! Evenin was slow as was at home, cutting the cake frm “Family “ end. Then suddenly my aunt asked that u turned 21? I said no, 22. Then she said completed 22 or stepped in 22? I was like wat ? 22 is 22 how can I step in n out ? anyway mum cleared it,it was 22 n I stepped in 23 accordin 2 her. Confusin ppl!!

Emm BEe Yay

All ya guyz herez wishin u a fuckin happy fuckin new fuckin year !! May all u ppl get the keyz 2 unlock pyjamaz!!
Man o man the year 2010 was fun ,atleast 4 me !! After the kickass moments at CL I finally got in2 a bskool!! Too bad I was alone,all my palz betrayed me n went 2 sumother bskoolz..Fuck u adeem !! I really believed dat bskool shud b disciplined and all… but here ? Hardly any blokes turn up! Why o Lord Why….unless our asses get whooped we don’t learn!! The good thing is that we don’t wear formals everyday,give me an ac car n ac classroom sure I’ll wear formals n turn up !!
My section has all the insane ppl !! one guy sits n toks abt how bad our college is … dude u hav already enrolld urslf..there is no lookin back…so stop complainin n start takin things in a positive way.there is one guy who toks on phone wid his mum while class is goin on. Another one eats more than khali!! He actually eats two meals for lunch. There is a chick who ends up blabberin answers to teacher !! n me pal makes fun f me by relatin me to her… n dat has a story behind it..Once she came n gave her email address so dat I cud add her in the group email list and while she was givin me her id.. she said.. “Oh its so hot” and this thing me pal heard n said ooo see she feels hot when she is near u !!! stupid ass !! one of me pal in college is such a big fan of SRK that he gave chocz on birthday of SRK!!And my section has already become blacklisted !! durin exam donno which cunt wrote an abuse next to a chix name on attendance sheet…. Man dis is sooo fuckin lame !! Our profz r equally insane!! Our mis prof speaks sooo soft that apart frm 1st couple f benches none can hear his voice. N he always speaks abt how bad our city is n hw good America is where he used to work …n I m sure he got kickd out ! :D then is GD..our stats sir who gave promising speeches like politicians then scwd us at da end f da exam !! bloody completed 3 imp chaptrz in 1hr !! Douche bag !!! law classes were soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo fuckin borin !! almost dozed off !!! the best thng my college has is canteen n IT lab…. I like it !! though most f da tym canteen runs out f those spl food…still….!!!
Nevertheless …still I ended up makin a good set f pals!! Do hav tons f fun durin the class !! Pretty happy coz I really expctd that mba wud scrw my ass hard !! Still havin a safe ass till now…. Lets see wat hapnz next !!

Nandan se no bandhan

Movies !! now that’s something I love to watch…specially comic ones !! recently I went for a movie with my cousin at Nandan for It’s a wonderful afterlife flick!! For those who don’t know about Nandan,it’s a theatre made by the govt of west Bengal for the citizens ! many international film festivals are held there so it’s a pretty decent theatre! It screens Bengali,hindi n also foreign flicks! Enuf abt da description!!! It was an evenin show, I went to get the tickets….. no queue..tickets are pretty cheap..wat more do I want ? as I was gettn da ticket, a girl came to buy tickets,she was accompanied by her pals ! Looked bong to me n boy I was proved right the next moment! She said “AII ETA KI SIN-EMAA ?” n she read like dis
“ EETS A ONE-DERFOOL APHTARLIE-EF ?? BABA RE” !! I was like fuck if u don’t know what flick is on,why do you come ? me cousin n me were laughin our ass off ! the previous show had just got over and tons f bongs were comin out f the theatre(previous show was some bong flick)! I was just shockd to see so many people watchin at nandan! I went inside the theatre … decent ambience..empty seats!! Was seated to my allotted seat…. N slowly people startd comin in ! after a while I realized that just the 1st two rows of the hall were filled(balcony) n rest 15-20rows behind were empty!! Obviously people wanted to space out !! but the attendant was like NO u have to sit accordn 2 ur allotd seat no ! fuck man ..wat an asshole!! Then suddenly heard a “TRRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIINGGGG” …a bell rang…which meant its time for the show… lights dimmed out !! I was like damn .. sounded I was back in school ! The flick startd n after a while I did change the seat ! take dat sucker!!! Sound : GOOD Picture : GOOD Seats:Okay !! crowed : decent because it was NOT a hindi or bong flick !! Attendants: CRAAP aall bloody over 50years old !!